Gym Adventures

I'm leaving my ab class today from the gym and I just thought I needed to blog about my experience there over the past few weeks.  This should serve as a form of entertainment and/or motivation for those who would like to continue reading.  I'm posting no photos, just writing what is popping in my head.

So, a few weeks ago, I decided to get my butt back in shape in the gym.  I use the term "back in shape" loosely, since I really can't pinpoint a time in my past where I actually was in shape.  My best friend, Ariel, has served as some true motivation, here.  Cheers to you, Ariel.  #1, she is super mom, #2, she looks awesome.  Okay, well, I can't be her fat friend, so in the gym I go :)

Here is what goes through my head (and please comment below if you have thought the same thing, or if you think I am just a complete lunatic):


"I'm a mom, of course I can handle a gym class!  Labor was more intense.  I mean, haven't I gotten sooooo much stronger over the past 17 months by lifting this child every day?!?!  It really can't be that intense!"

I joined at Studio Fitness, which is exactly what I wanted and needed.  Classes for all women and Childcare (to which my child views as the gateway to hell).  She pretty much cries for an hour strait.  That's for another blog.  The classes which I have done so far are: Pump (weight lifting), Step, Combat (cardio) and Core Focused.  Here is a look into my experiences so far.

Pump: "Okay, weight lifting.  Awesome.  How much weight do I need?  I mean I'm a beginner."  My teacher, Sam (more on her later) says to grab a blue and a purple weight (15lbs).  ON EACH SIDE.  Give me a little credit here people.  Lunges, dead lifts, etc.  I'm dying here.  I was sore for like 4 days.  My arms feel like jello and I want to take up that crazy sport where you toss the stick in the Olympics (javelin? ) and throw my bar out the window.  I can see this in my head.  Setting off car alarms because I've slammed it through someone's SUV windshield.  This is what I think about when my biceps are on flipping FIRE!  I look over at Ariel (she's in the zone).  Steph is keeping up with the reps.  I'm cussing in my head.  Right now I'm thinking "I mean, I don't look THAT bad in a bikini, why am I doing this again?"  But of course, I can't quit...my friends are here and Sam will surely call me out and probably make me do 50 lunges and enough alligator push ups to cover a football field.

Step: "Step.  Okay, isn't this like step aerobics?  Wasn't that popular in like, the 80's? Or was that jazzercize?  Regardless, there are some older women in here, and if they can do it, so can I!" HA HA HA!  Okay, so I did get through the whole class, HOWEVER, I can say that I got a few breaks.  I get these breaks because I can't keep up with count.  It does take some super coordination and counting like dance.  And I never took dance or did anything physical for that matter.  Just keeping up at this point is what I'm considering a win.  Then I get a glance of my crazy-ass in the mirror and, in the words of Charlie Sheen, I am definitely NOT WINNING.  Failing, in fact.  I look like a monkey on crack.  A sweaty one.  At least I feel that way.

Combat: "I remember how tough this class was when I was a member before, but it's a great workout.  This is what I need.  Pounds lost, heart-rate up.  It's Ariel's favorite, so it's gotta be good!"  Let's just rewind to the uncoordinated sweat monkey mentioned before.  It takes just as much coordination and I feel like a complete idiot!  I don't care.  I'm pushing through it.  JAB!  PUNCH!  HOOK! KICK! (yes, this is now a Batman comic)  I'm sweating from head to toe, through my shorts and last time I checked, I think I have snot coming from my nose as well.  Oh well, if I stop, Sam's gonna say something.  Last time she told me to "get my hand off the wall" when I was using it for balance.  Mitzi got a break because she had a sprained ankle.  Then she starts in with the "high knees" and "jumping".  THIS IS HELL.  First, I have the right hip of a 90 year old.  Second, EVERYONE in the class can jump higher than me and can run faster or pretty much do everything better than me.  Sam is yelling at me "Fallon, You can Jump!!!"  I tried it.  I knew what was going to happen, but I went ahead and did it because she's yelling.  And there I just peed on my self a little bit.  I mean, good thing I have on cotton panties under my gym shorts.  I mean, seriously, these other women in there that have squeezed one or more watermelons out of their key-holes cannot tell me that they aren't peeing on themselves every time they land!  GIVE ME A BREAK.  So Sam is still pushing (not just me but everyone) and I'm thinking if I really give this my all and jump then she's just gonna have to get the wet-vac out to clean her carpets of urine, because I'm about to turn this floor into my own personal water closet.  Way to go, me!

Core Class: "I could only go to one 30 min class today, so this is what I chose."  Super great core workout, but in the middle of class I strait up start imagining Sam in her underground death basement making up this crap to twist and tangle our bodies through.  We start doing this crazy twist-sideways jump thing and I ask her if she just sits around and makes this up.  She laughed....which tells me she is as crazy as I thought she was....and now, I'm on to her and her death basement.

So there are just a few examples of what I've been going through.  And the craziest part about it, is that I like it and I respect all the women in there for getting out and taking care of themselves.  I will be the first to try to get anyone to join the gym, but I will also be the first to say that it's hard as heck!!!!  I'd be lying if I said that every time I do a crunch I'm not thinking about making macaroni and cheese for dinner or how much I love Big Time Diner, but hey, at least I'm in there right?  The ladies there do a great job and the good Lord gave me this body.  This uncoordinated, sweat-monkey, good for nothing bladder of a body, and gosh darn-it, I'm going to keep my heart rate up!  For my husband, for my daughter and for myself!  Here's the deal though:  if you are a WOMAN and you are in need of a laugh, they offer free 3 day passes.  Come by and check me out.  I'm awesome.

The Gleason Vacation.  

Sean was off the entire week and we had more of a "staycation" than a vacation, which, honestly, was amazing.  We got away to the Grand for a few days and rebuilt our back deck (pics up soon).  But in the meantime, here are a few of our growing baby girl and her ever-so-changing personality.  

Here is a picture of us at Tamera's Downtown for my Mother's Day dinner!

Yes, mom, I would surely like the lemon out of your bloody mary!

Quickly becoming SD's specialty: saving her "gifts" for the dinner table.  Hey, SD, way to go!  I was really hoping to lose my appetite.  Hey, Tamera's Downtown, way to go!  I was really excited when you didn't provide a changing table in the women's bathroom and you just had candles on a table that you did provide and I had to blow them out so my 16 month old wouldn't burn her fingers or all of the hair off her head.  Also, try putting a liner in the trash can and maybe your staff wont spit in my food because I placed dirty diapers and messy wipes in there.  Has anyone out there ever tried to change a diaper like this in the dark?  Hey, mom, way to go!  Great way to show what a great mom you are by not packing an extra outfit and bringing your baby back to the table naked.  

Our baby is quickly developing such a great personality!  Her obsessions are getting a little out of control.  They rank in the following: 1. Buckles 2. Bubble Guppies (it's a cartoon) 3. Elevators (as pictured below) 4. Must dip her own chips.

This picture shows just how seriously she takes swimming.  She looks like she is juicing up on Gatorade Prime and psyching herself out to go into "the big game"!  "Put me in, coach!  I can do this!"

And shes off...

Yes, I make her wear sunglasses.  I found these on amazon, and they are polarized for kids.  They were only $13.99 and they came with a strap that goes around her head so she can't take them off.  They are rubber, so they can't be broken and there is no top or bottom, so we don't have to worry about them going on the wrong way.  I feel way better knowing her eyes are protected!

Yes, laying out with mom.

Close up!

Playing Croquet with Daddy! 

Can we say attitude?  Yes we can.

Spaghetti.  Yummo.

Mother's Day, Y'all.

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me ABOUT SEX..."How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING..."You are going to get it when we get home."

And, my all-time favorite - JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then you'll see what it's like."

 Things My Mother Taught Me (from Splitcoaststampers)

Here are some photos of SD and her Mommas!  Shout out to my awesome husband who got me and SD matching Vera Bradley Aprons for Mother's Day!  I love to cook and I already pull up SD's highchair to the counter and teach her.  Now she can put on her apron with her mommy.  He gets a A+ for making them pink.  I love my husband!

Learning....

Dear Michael Jackson...this is not like ABC, 123, Do Re Mi.  This is me trying to teach a 16 month old how to speak.  This is tough stuff.  I try to put myself in her position and imagine someone speaking to me in some foreign language and expecting me to respond...for the most part she is doing really well.  

As a mother, I try to devote a lot of time to doing activities with my child, especially since I am at home with her and she isn't around other children learning every day.  We do shapes, words, colors, sing songs and read.  

She is doing really well so far and she can say the following words:  

Momma and Mommy (which is used for me and Sean, and for when she wants something)

Daddy

Bubble

Bye-bye

Night-Night

Baby (which is her blanket)

Shoes

Star

pee-pee

She can also identify her: belly, feet, hands, eyes, mouth, tongue, ears, nose and boobie :)

Of course, I don't have any other children to compare her to, but I think she is doing well for her age.  Her favorite songs are "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".

Here's the challenge: Although I am at home with her, finding time to get her absolute attention is all but impossible.  Between the laundry, dishes, trips to the store, runs to see Sean, naps, cooking and the precious and to far in-between shower...learning time is having to be scheduled just like everything else.  So, here is a look at our conversation today:

Mom: Shelbia, did you go pee-pee?  Do you need a diaper change:

SD: Pee-pee?

Mom: Yes, pee-pee!  We have to change your diaper so you can go night-night.

SD: Pulls out the diaper.

Mom: Can you say Diaper?

SD: ba-boop

Mom: Diaper

SD: Pa-po

Mom: Di-a-per

SD: Me-moow

Mom: No, D-I-A-P-E-R

SD: pop-peeeee, then points to the fan and says, Gaaa-boo

I put her to sleep.  Our conversations remind me a lot of this:

Honestly, I think I'll be pretty sad when she learns how to talk, because then she can talk back to me and tell me all the things I have done wrong...I can surely wait on that.

He is Risen!

He is Risen, He is Risen, Indeed!!!!

Today, we celebrate Easter and the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I'm so glad that James was able to make it to church with us this morning and hear the word of God. After Shelbia Drew's nap, we will be headed over to the Spivey's home to celebrate this wonderful day with them!

Today is a day to reflect on the blessings that the Lord has given you. Not only the greatest blessing of all, HIS LIFE, but that we are now washed of our sin! Thank you, Jesus!










He conquered the grave. Let us celebrate Jesus Christ as he is seated at the right hand of the Father. Happy Easter, everyone!












The Gleason Family and Friends after church this morning!











We finally got her to smile for a picture!




















Yes, the Easter Bunny did come to see, S.D. Check it out...

Hoedown in Dothan-town!

We had a blast in Dothan, AL this past weekend with our friends Brett and Crystal. We went to the park, where we saw a ton of animals and had some good ole fashioned ice cream.

Sean got to go play golf with Brett and Josh on Saturday morning while Crystal and I hung out with Baby Girl! We did a little shopping, and when they got back, we headed to the park and then Crystal and I got a little bit of time to do some girl shopping while the boys kept SD at the house and made us dinner.

By the way, Brett- that was the best grilled chicken I've ever had. A bottle of wine, and some good conversation later, we were all ready to hit the sack. SD was a trooper the whole time and slept like a champ, even in a new environment!

We went out the next day to this place called "Zach's" for some "authentic Dothan food" as Crystal likes to say. Talk about home cooking! Country fried steak, mashed potatoes, fried okra, and SD KILLED some fried cornbread! She is a southern girl for sure! Here are some more pics from our trip:

Brett and SD swinging:
















Do you think she was having any fun at all?















Brett and Crystal at the Peanut Patch!















And the Gleason Fam too!















Mom and Daughter learning how to make corn meal!















Riding on Brett's shoulders was a big deal, since she usually hesitates around men, but she took right to Brett. We are looking at a horse here:



















Gleason Family at the ice-cream shoppe!















"Chocolate wasted!"
















The Tidwells and SD in line for a milkshake!















"Just in case anyone lost their cow, I found it!!! Here it is!!!"














Enjoying the sunshine on the patio!



















SD with Aunt "Frystal"

The Westover Post

What's making news in your neighborhood? Gossip on the nosy neighbor? Yard of the Month? Ohhhhh NO! Not in Westover.

We have a raccoon issue...well, we had A raccoon. With distemper. And, yes, it caused the entire neighborhood to go bananas. I swear, diseased animals make people in Alabama go crazy.

Here's the low down. Sean and I are coming home from church and we see Stephanie in the driveway of her home. She's on the phone with here mother-in-law, Gail. Talking about "the raccoon"!!! We get the story: apparently there is a raccoon that had something "wrong" with it in the middle of the street. Hunched over, not moving, I'm guessing with that crazy look in his eye, like he's planning on coming back tonight to murder all the neighbors.

We get news that the lady in the blue house goes to see the diseased animal with her black and white cat in tow. Honestly, if there is a mosquito outside, I'm not bringing Lucy out for fear of heart worms or West Nile...but obviously this lady is Mrs. Doolittle. Not sure what came of this...but if the cat catches distemper, that will be a later blog post.

Okay, leaving Steph's we get stopped by Bethany, who gives us her side. "Oh my gosh, did you guys see the raccoon?!?!" At this point we are all 3 laughing because we realize how big of a deal we are all making about "The Raccoon". She says the cops came and then animal control followed.

Meanwhile, down the street, the neighbors from both sides of our house are meeting in our driveway letting us know how much action we missed while we were in church. At this point I'm thinking that this raccoon must have been rainbow colored, an acrobat or from outer space the way everyone is reacting. It was hilarious.

The statement from the neighbor on the right: "Man, y'all sure did miss it!"

The scoop from the neighbor on the right: "Mr. Bob was outside poking it with a stick and wanted come get my kids to play with it!" Trish was also ready and willing to shoot it with her shot-gun, had the cops not been here for 45 min. guarding "THE RACCOON" before animal control made it here. I love me some Trish!

Finally, we make it to the front door and I look across the cul-de-sac seeing Mr. Bob filling in his across the street neighbor about the vicious, serial killing, crazy-eyed RACCOON! Honestly, it was such a pretty day, we were lucky to see good ole Mr. Bob with a shirt on. I sure am glad that crazy thing didn't bite him on the leg like the goose did on Cody road a few months back.

Anyway. That's whats going on today, and I guess that's what we missed when we were at church. I'm sure that crazy thing looked similar to this:

Finally, a play room!

We finally have a place for all of SD's toys. Thanks to my good friend, Lizzie, who is holding on to my guest room furniture, we have a place for SD to play! This is wonderful since it allows us to just close the door at the end of the day and not trip over her toys in the middle of the living room! This first pic is a picture of the room when my dad was painting it!

Here is SD's beautiful white chest we got from White House Antiques and we have turned it into a toy box. I love it because the top is too heavy for SD to lift on her own, so I get to decide which toys are in, and which are out!

A reading area for my stinker! I made the hanging bookshelf! Thanks Pinterest! We have a Walter Anderson painting hanging above to add a little bit of Ocean Springs to the mix!







I just finished these today. I wanted something that was inexpensive and that matched her room! These yellow canvases go with her yellow curtains and only cost me about $18! You can't see it in the pic, but there is a bird sitting on the branch!

Here is a pic of the finished product! I actually found this matching chair to Shelbia's on Craigslist for $120. It came with an ottoman too! What a deal. I can sit and read to her while she plays or she can sit with me! We also moved a TV equipped with a Wii and Netflix for my work-out space and cartoons for SD! This room has made our life a lot less chaotic and we just bought a large air mattress for our guests when they come to stay!

Not for the weak tummies.

So, you may be looking at this photo, and nothing strikes you as different, unless you are a woman, in which you may be thinking "Gee-wiz that kid has got some major granny-panties" or "what's coming out of that poor child's pants?" If you would like to know, please continue reading, but I warn you, it's probably not the best time to be eating. Especially something like soup. :)

So, our day started great! Church (SD was awesome in the nursery, thanks Annie and Aunt Tina) and then off to Foley for some family fun at the Outlet Mall. SD was a champion. Great shopping all day. One diaper change at J Crew. So, Sean and I decide to go to Bass Pro on the way home, and there seems to smell like there is either a skunk, or a small sewer spill in our backseat. I look in my diaper bag...no diapers. Really? Really. Honestly, I have made it almost 14 months of her life without this happening. Why here, why now?

We rush into Bass Pro just knowing I have a smelly surprise just waiting for me under those darling pink pants. I'm improvising in my brain what I can make a diaper out of...then I think to myself, this is Bass Pro Shop, they have EVERYTHING. NOPE. The restrooms are right outside the "home" section (yes, they have one in BPS, but honestly, if anyone of my friends decorated their home in camouflage and/or antlers and/or moose plates, we would not be friends anymore) and we stumble upon some hand towels. With decorative antlers. Awesome. And these are my husbands words "$5 for a towel?!?!?! NO. WAY." I'm thinking "Great, I'm going to change this horrible diaper, and I have nothing" So, I decide, surely they have one of those little machines in the bathroom and I'll improvise with a maxi pad. I AM SO SMART!

Okay, so I lay her out on the table, and voila! NO POOP! Dang, my girl was dropping some bomb toots in the car....I guess we were worried for nothing.

Here is where the turning point for normal parents would be, and this is what they would be thinking: "Hey, since my daughter is so gassy, this probably means this diaper is on the eve of utter destruction, we better get her home! The only diaper we have is on her and since it's Joe Cain Day, getting off the interstate to grab a diaper at a store would be complete chaos. LET'S GO!"

US: "Let's look at the fish and play on the elevator with our child."

Next stop: McAlisters. Hey, Gleason family. Awesome choice. Let's take more time to get home. Together you guys have the brain of a monkey. And there is where the volcano erupted. Full force lava. Red face, grunting, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. She couldn't even finish her pickle.

The smell hit my husband first. Then me. Good thing I had just finished my potato soup, or else we would have wasted our $3.50. And then I got a whiff. I knew what was waiting for me. Bad news first: (besides no diaper and 2 stupid parents) we have to wait to make sure she is finished. We are in the eye of the "smell of death" hurricane. Just waiting for the other side of the storm to hit. Good news: there isn't anyone else in the restaurant, so no one is loosing their lunch (or dinner).

I do the poo-poo walk (you know the one where you hold your baby at arm's length in front of you so you don't get any on your clothes) all the way to the bathroom, and of course it's almost out of the top of the diaper.

Here are my tools: 1. a toddler's shirt 2. wipes and 3. McAlister's napkins. Time to get creative. After I clean up this child I flip the shirt upside down and stuff my baby's chunky legs through the arm holes, only to have a large neck hole right on her bottom. Awesome. Then, a lady walks in the door. Awesome.

I mean, REALLY!?!?! Lord, you had given me such an awesome day with my family, I guess He just needed a laugh. She looks at me as I'm shoving my child's legs into an upside down shirt and stuffing napkins in the neck-hole to catch any urine on the way home. HOW HORRIBLE OF A MOTHER DO I LOOK LIKE TO THIS LADY?!?!?

Instead of taking my time and doing this the correct way, a million things start going through my head, like "Lady, don't judge me. You don't know what it's like to have 5lb diaper and nothing to change your child into!!!" So what if I'm stuffing napkins in her pants!!!!!"

Needless to say, the job was not done correctly, because I wanted to leave the restroom before this woman got a good look at my beet red face and took pity on this poor child and her stupid mom. So I high-tailed it out of there....and did not look back

But hey, we were still dry when we got home. The end.

Fun Times with the Family

Today, we took our baby girl on her first trip to the golf course today. She had such a great time. She loved the golf cart and got the general idea of putting the ball in the hole, however, she didn't understand that you need to hit it with the club to get it there! For some reason, I was TOTALLY expecting that my child (at 13 months) would be a prodigy and would just pick up the game! NOT. She loved going around, picking up all of Sean's golf balls and putting them in the holes. Here are a few pics from today's putting spectacular.


















Learning to clap for daddy when he sinks a put!!!













Here's momma trying to teach her baby how to put. She wasn't getting the hang of it really quickly, but she will soon!

"Peace-out, Daddy, I'm outta here!"

















SD with her putter. Mom looking on.













Lucy sunbathing in the front yard.

SD putting all of her balls in the hole!

Curly Sue!