Not for the weak tummies.

So, you may be looking at this photo, and nothing strikes you as different, unless you are a woman, in which you may be thinking "Gee-wiz that kid has got some major granny-panties" or "what's coming out of that poor child's pants?" If you would like to know, please continue reading, but I warn you, it's probably not the best time to be eating. Especially something like soup. :)

So, our day started great! Church (SD was awesome in the nursery, thanks Annie and Aunt Tina) and then off to Foley for some family fun at the Outlet Mall. SD was a champion. Great shopping all day. One diaper change at J Crew. So, Sean and I decide to go to Bass Pro on the way home, and there seems to smell like there is either a skunk, or a small sewer spill in our backseat. I look in my diaper bag...no diapers. Really? Really. Honestly, I have made it almost 14 months of her life without this happening. Why here, why now?

We rush into Bass Pro just knowing I have a smelly surprise just waiting for me under those darling pink pants. I'm improvising in my brain what I can make a diaper out of...then I think to myself, this is Bass Pro Shop, they have EVERYTHING. NOPE. The restrooms are right outside the "home" section (yes, they have one in BPS, but honestly, if anyone of my friends decorated their home in camouflage and/or antlers and/or moose plates, we would not be friends anymore) and we stumble upon some hand towels. With decorative antlers. Awesome. And these are my husbands words "$5 for a towel?!?!?! NO. WAY." I'm thinking "Great, I'm going to change this horrible diaper, and I have nothing" So, I decide, surely they have one of those little machines in the bathroom and I'll improvise with a maxi pad. I AM SO SMART!

Okay, so I lay her out on the table, and voila! NO POOP! Dang, my girl was dropping some bomb toots in the car....I guess we were worried for nothing.

Here is where the turning point for normal parents would be, and this is what they would be thinking: "Hey, since my daughter is so gassy, this probably means this diaper is on the eve of utter destruction, we better get her home! The only diaper we have is on her and since it's Joe Cain Day, getting off the interstate to grab a diaper at a store would be complete chaos. LET'S GO!"

US: "Let's look at the fish and play on the elevator with our child."

Next stop: McAlisters. Hey, Gleason family. Awesome choice. Let's take more time to get home. Together you guys have the brain of a monkey. And there is where the volcano erupted. Full force lava. Red face, grunting, watery eyes, the whole nine yards. She couldn't even finish her pickle.

The smell hit my husband first. Then me. Good thing I had just finished my potato soup, or else we would have wasted our $3.50. And then I got a whiff. I knew what was waiting for me. Bad news first: (besides no diaper and 2 stupid parents) we have to wait to make sure she is finished. We are in the eye of the "smell of death" hurricane. Just waiting for the other side of the storm to hit. Good news: there isn't anyone else in the restaurant, so no one is loosing their lunch (or dinner).

I do the poo-poo walk (you know the one where you hold your baby at arm's length in front of you so you don't get any on your clothes) all the way to the bathroom, and of course it's almost out of the top of the diaper.

Here are my tools: 1. a toddler's shirt 2. wipes and 3. McAlister's napkins. Time to get creative. After I clean up this child I flip the shirt upside down and stuff my baby's chunky legs through the arm holes, only to have a large neck hole right on her bottom. Awesome. Then, a lady walks in the door. Awesome.

I mean, REALLY!?!?! Lord, you had given me such an awesome day with my family, I guess He just needed a laugh. She looks at me as I'm shoving my child's legs into an upside down shirt and stuffing napkins in the neck-hole to catch any urine on the way home. HOW HORRIBLE OF A MOTHER DO I LOOK LIKE TO THIS LADY?!?!?

Instead of taking my time and doing this the correct way, a million things start going through my head, like "Lady, don't judge me. You don't know what it's like to have 5lb diaper and nothing to change your child into!!!" So what if I'm stuffing napkins in her pants!!!!!"

Needless to say, the job was not done correctly, because I wanted to leave the restroom before this woman got a good look at my beet red face and took pity on this poor child and her stupid mom. So I high-tailed it out of there....and did not look back

But hey, we were still dry when we got home. The end.

Fun Times with the Family

Today, we took our baby girl on her first trip to the golf course today. She had such a great time. She loved the golf cart and got the general idea of putting the ball in the hole, however, she didn't understand that you need to hit it with the club to get it there! For some reason, I was TOTALLY expecting that my child (at 13 months) would be a prodigy and would just pick up the game! NOT. She loved going around, picking up all of Sean's golf balls and putting them in the holes. Here are a few pics from today's putting spectacular.


















Learning to clap for daddy when he sinks a put!!!













Here's momma trying to teach her baby how to put. She wasn't getting the hang of it really quickly, but she will soon!

"Peace-out, Daddy, I'm outta here!"

















SD with her putter. Mom looking on.













Lucy sunbathing in the front yard.

SD putting all of her balls in the hole!

Curly Sue!

Pinterest Perfected!

Here are a few ideas and recipes I have snagged from Pinterest and tried them out...

I thought this idea was so cute! This was an old window frame I found at White House Antiques, the best little antique shop! I lined it with some scrapbook paper and then put all of SD's black and white photos in the front. This is for her "play room" so I tried to make it so that all the photos were of her playing. It looks great in her room.








Here is the Pinterest recipe for Texas Ranch Chicken Casserole. It was pretty good...not fantastic. I think it could have used a little more kick! I added a little taco seasoning and a packet of dry ranch dressing...I think next time I make it, I'll put some chili powder in it too!

These are some chicken wraps that I made just last night. I added tomatoes to mine (because I think everything taste better with tomatoes) and they turned out really good. I used spinach wraps instead of flour to add a little nutrition. This gets a thumbs up. They are extremely filling, I could only eat half of one, and they made 4 large roll ups. Good, Inexpensive and husband approved. The only suggestion is that you serve it with some salsa, and I love sweet corn salsa.

Mine was not near as pretty, but they tasted great.








Honey Crockpot Chicken. This had a little Asian Flare to it. I served mine with some homemade fried rice (a lot more healthy) and pot stickers instead of egg rolls. This was easy and very, very good.



Here is my photo!

The last "project" was trying to remove my "spillovers" on my flat top. I found a blog through Pinterest that says to put baking soda on the baked-on mess and then lay a soapy washcloth over it for a while, and it should come right up. Not the case. I found that (Thanks to my neighbor, Trish) a product called "Bartender's Friend" works much, much better! Thanks Trish!

Family Time!

Well, a lot has been going on since the Holiday's have passed! Football games, family has visited...a lot of prayers have been sent up, a lot of prayers have been answered...and I'm just now getting time to sit down and take it all in....

Here are some photos of the fam:

Aunt Heather with SD

G'ma and Kenny...getting married next month! Congrats guys!

The Family

Girls!

The past month has been filled with emotion, both good and bad:

Some of the goods:

• A few babies I'm looking forward to meeting...JSarge (LUKE) being one, and NO I'M NOT THE OTHER!
• DUH, an Alabama National Championship
• My Daughter is now WALKING!
• An awesome Saints game with my best friends
• Family coming back together
• Getting back in my community group and Ladies' Bible study at church. It feels so great to have the Holy Spirit surround me with such wonderful people!
• SD's one year appointment...she knocked it out of the park!
• Kindermusik in full swing again!
• Happy Birthday to Keri, Tiffani, Banks and Lizzie this month! Love you all!

A few of the not so good:

• Sweet Kayda Jade being diagnosed with cancer. Here is the good news: she is surrounded by believing parents that know the Lord is in control at all times. We've been praying so much!
• The Saint's losing to the 49ers, really guys?
• My bro being gone for like 2 months, and leaving without painting my play room for SD....thanks for that Zach!
• I've had a few doctors appointments to see if I have gallstones...hoping for the best :)

Y'all come back now! Ya Hear?!?

Critic's Corner!

Okay, so we have had a lot go on since Christmas. Family visiting, great football, and finally getting back into the swing of things around this house! So here's an update on whats been going on, and of course my opinion of everything that's been flashing across my TV screen over the past few weeks. If you feel you don't want my opinion on things, feel free to look forward to my next post, which will be all about my fam!

Dang! ANOTHER National Championship!!! I'll take it. We played a great game against a great team. Congrats to LSU for being SEC Champs!

Okay, good ole Paula Deen has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, which of course does not come to a shock to anyone. Now she is being criticized for speaking out (as a spokesperson) for Novo. Anthony Bordain seems to think he knows everything and is simply hating on my home-girl over here. Lay off, Anthony. Yeah, she make make fatty foods, but you would have to be a complete IDIOT to eat like that everyday...and when did she become responsible for everyone putting extra calories into their mouth? If she wants to get the word out about changing her habits and eating in moderation, then let her! Frankly, I don't have the time or budget to make fried chicken with a side of honey glazed ham every day for lunch, but every once in a while...it sure does taste good. Keep rocking out Paula, and good luck on getting healthy!

I mean, really? Idiot.

An article regarding autism was recently brought to my attention by my dear Aunt (who has an autistic son). I was so fired up at this...anyway, here's a cut and paste of my comment from facebook:

Since when does changing a definition of a certain disability heal those affected? Dr. Lord's proposal to "nip it in the bud" is absurd, and simply narrow minded. This article stirs anger in my heart because those that are affected with Austism, no matter how severe, are still affected. Next thing you know, people won't have " enough cancer" to receive medical treatment. Autism is a serious disability and should be treated as such...it should not be viewed solely as a social or cognitive disability but as an illness that we as a county should recognize and find MEDICAL routes to prevent... Not look to webster's. I love you patti and I'm glad you brought this to our attention.

For those of you who know me, yes I do love award season. My fav is always Nicole Kidman, as I think she looks astonishing in everything she wears. For some CRAZY reason, the above skeleton was named on pretty much everyone's favorite of the night...and I just can't get on that band wagon, and I'm sure Paula would back me on this one. I mean, WOW. It may just be my southern roots, but I want to feed this girl!!!!! Gravy and Biscuits, Sweet Tea and greens with ham hock should be in this lady's future...in fact...

Dear Angelina, I would love to invite you (and Brad) with your 13 kids to my house for a meal made up of more than tofu, shrimp and water chestnuts. Hope you can make it! Love, Fallon

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, A Joyful Gleason Christmas Tradition

So here is the start of our Family Tradition at Christmas. The Grand Hotel in Fairhope to see the lights. How beautiful! My WONDERFUL husband surprised me with a one-night family get-a-way to the Grand in the Executive Suite (which I was THRILLED about)!

We Started out with dinner at Tamara's, one of my favorite spots in F'hope....I don't know why I like it so much, but I sure do! A few glasses of wine and a wonderful meal!

Then on to the Grand! I must say, getting into the room was a little crazy...Everyone had

complimented my sweet baby girl at Tamara's on her sweet Christmas dress, just to find it ruined by the time we made it to the hotel room. She had been working up a little Christmas present of her own. She may as well of gift wrapped it. Anyway, I was in complete awe and surprise of the room but was trying to bathe my child in the sink, remove her diaper and clean my WOOL COAT with a tide pen all at the same time...I tried to pass her off to the bell hop with no success. I don't think any tip was worth THAT diaper change.

Anyway, with her sweet and beautiful Christmas gown ruined, our photos were taken in her PJ's. Here is some pics of the first of hopefully many Christmas's to come. All is Merry and Bright in the Gleason Home!

My Christmas Memories

I have a feeling that this year is going to be my favorite Christmas to date. That probably has a little something to do with a Miss Shelbia Drew...so I was on my way home from Birmingham today and I was thinking of some of my favorite Christmas memories, and I thought I would jot them down on my blog for my family to read....hopefully these are a few of their favorites as well!

1...When Zach and I were really young, we lived in a house that my mom painted Smurf blue. Literally. When my dad got remarried, thank goodness his new wife repainted it a tannish color. Our Christmas tree was right next to the door and Zach and I were opening gifts and we had a puzzle wrapped under the tree...and in that box...a red feather from Santa's bag!!!!! I remember being soooo happy and running to my step-mom and telling her that we found a red feather in our puzzle box, and it MUST have gotten there from Santa's bag. I don't know if she remembers that, but I sure do.

2. My first CD player. I think I was about 8. I of course got a CD with it. Paula Abdul...Shut up and Dance!!!! My brother got a huge GI Joe, because I obviously had complained enough to my mother about him stealing my Ken doll...however, Barbie certainly had a much bigger, hotter date after Christmas that Year.

3. Baking Christmas cookies with my Squiddles! My cousin Syd and I would bake cookies every year and we were really bad at it....and she uses WAY TOO much frosting...and a lot of sprinkles. She was always into sparkles and shiny things as a kid, and it just carried over into the baking. We would still continue that tradition if we lived closer together. The last time we made cookies was about 4 years ago when we went to Oklahoma, and I should say they turned out really nice. Here is a photo of us as kids!

4. Zach-After opening up our Christmas stockings, and when my mom wasn't looking, Zach looks at me and says..."hey, fallon, do you want this collection of soul music mom put in my stocking?" It wasn't a collection of soul music. It was a Collective Soul CD.

5. The first vacation to Universal Studios with my husband...was at Christmas time...I knew on that vacation that I loved him. We had only been dating for about 4 months at the time...and now look where we are! This photo was taken a few years ago...I think before we were married!

6. And of course there is my memories of my mother. My sweet, sweet crazy mother. This

category deserves a spotlight of it's own...so here goes...Christmas memories of Kristen:

A. Buying Zach a "plot of land on the moon" and wrapping moon dust under the tree

B. Buying Zach a video camera, in about 2002, that still took VHS...oh he was THRILLED with that one!

C. For some reason, Zach always got chocolate in his stocking...and me: KIWI. YUM!

D. I got a chia pet from her about 4 years ago. I think I left it at her house on purpose.

E. When Sean spent his first Christmas with us, he looked in his stocking and quietly whispered to me: "I think your mom put Apple Lip Gloss in my stocking"...that was in addition to the seat that went on the bottom of a bucket for him to fish with and the ever-popular slinky.

F. Oh, the year she wrapped all of our presents in purple Kwanza paper...because it was "on

sale"

G. I do remember our first trip to New Orleans was with her over Christmas, and it was magical...all of the lights in the park....It was awesome. We later went with my Aunt Patti and Jo and Syd...and that year, I think my brother had a crush on my cousin, because Zach had his arm around Jordan the whole time. (they were like 7, people!!!!) But that was an awesome time

H. Mom and I tried to make a pumpkin pie one year...she forgot to remove the plastic from the top of the pie crust. We have that on video tape...and yes, a VHS!

I. Bienets EVERY Christmas Morning.

J. One year my mom bought all of my brother's gifts from Walgreens. I made her take them all back. He still owes me for that.

K. Mom got Zach a Prince "Greatest Hits" CD when he was like 7. Needless to say, when he got home, Dawn (our step-mom) with good reason took that CD away. Songs like "Sexy Mother-Fu****" and "Pu$$* Patrol" weren't exactly her idea of a 7 year old's play list. But my mom had really good intentions of making sure Zach had "good taste in music"

L. Once, my mom left a turkey on the stove, we left and the dog ate the entire thing. That was great!

M. It never fails that when our family and my aunt Patti's family get together over Christmas the following WILL take place: Chinese food, Playing Spoons, Zach getting PISSED at me because HE is a cheater at UNO, or Apples to Apples, or whatever game we play and he pouting to Jordan about it while Sydney and I gossip about them. Mom loves playing spoons.

Here is a great pic of my mom on Christmas a few years ago:

Just some odds and ends...and some funnies....

*Last year my dad bought me a trash can.

*Last year my husband thought I was going into labor because I was dancing to my MJ game too much.

*I'm looking forward to starting my own Christmas traditions with my family this year...and hopefully years to come

*I hope everyone who reads this has a great, great, great Christmas with their families and if I'm forgetting any memories...please post them on my facebook wall, because I love looking back and remembering all of them.

* I want my daughter to have just as many fond memories of me and Sean as I do of my family at Christmas.

Merry Christmas Everyone. I hope you all remember Jesus is the REASON FOR THE SEASON!!!!!!!